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Occasions in history when things were NSFW

History is vulgar, violent, obscene, perverted, and decadent. However, we usually only get presented with a watered-down version that leaves out all the salacious bits. This is an unabridged look at 10 occasions throughout history when things got decidedly NSFW (“not safe for work”).

American Diplomat Took a Prostitute To Meet The Queen Of England

American Diplomat

American Diplomat

http://www.homeofheroes.com

Civil War General Daniel Sickles was a man surrounded by controversy most of his life. He had married Teresa Bagioli when he was 33 and she was only 15. Still, Sickles preferred the company of escorts, most notably the infamous New York courtesan Fanny White. Sickles even took White to London when he was appointed first secretary to the American Legation. He brought her to a formal event where he introduced Fanny to Queen Victoria. All the while, his real wife was back home, pregnant with his child.

Greek Philosopher Masturbated In Public

Greek Philosopher

Greek Philosopher

https://www.thefamouspeople.com

Diogenes of Sinope, one of the founders of Cynicism, was well-known for his eccentric, sometimes obscene behavior. Sometimes Diogenes’s actions caused offense to those around him as he was opposed to following normal conventions that he viewed as wrong or unnecessary. He defecated in public while giving speeches, and he urinated on people he didn’t like. He also masturbated publicly when the need arose.

The Maya Got High on Enemas

Enemas

http://www.healthywealthyandhappy.co.uk

The ancient Maya had various ways of getting intoxicated to have visions that would bring them closer to the gods. Evidence shows that they experimented with many beverages, which they administered rectally to intensify their euphoric states. The beverages contained ingredients such as chocolate, corn, tobacco, and water lily.

Irish King Had Sex With A Horse

Irish King

http://listverse.com

One 12th-century king actually had sex with the horse before it was sacrificed and eaten. This account comes to us courtesy of archdeacon and historian Giraldus Cambrensis (aka Gerald of Wales).He often denigrated the Irish in his writing, making this account more unlikely. Regardless, Gerald reports of a new king around 1187 having sex with a white mare that served as a surrogate for the Earth goddess. Afterward, the mare was cooked and the king bathed in her blood while attendees ate her meat.

Buddhist Monk Achieved Enlightenment Through Sex

Buddhist Monk

http://tourandtrekkingnepal.com

Travel around Bhutan a while, and you’ll see old houses and churches adorned with paintings of giant, colorful penises. Phallus paintings have been important religious symbols in Bhutan for 500 years since Lama Drukpa Kunley brought Buddhism to the state and became known as the “Divine Madman.”

Kunley had a phallus-shaped stick that he called the “magic thunderbolt of wisdom.” After he used the stick to subdue a demon where the Chimi Lhakhang was built, phallus art took off. Today, pilgrims are still blessed at the monastery by being struck on the head with a wooden phallus.

Duke Seduced Two Of The Emperor’s Mistresses

Emperor’s Mistresses

http://www.badassoftheweek.com

Arthur Wellesley, the duke of Wellington, and Napoleon, emperor of France, had a fierce rivalry that ended with the duke’s victory at Waterloo. When Wellesley was appointed ambassador to France. As his official residence, he took the former home of Pauline Bonaparte and proceeded to seduce two of Napoleon’s former lovers. One was Josephina Grassini, an Italian opera singer, and the other was Josephine Weimer, a French actress. The latter even took the trouble of comparing the men’s sexual prowess, declaring the duke the stronger of the two.

The FBI Thought JFK Was Sleeping With A Nazi Spy

Nazi Spy

https://nypost.com

US President John F. Kennedy was known for his playboy lifestyle, chiefly his affair with Marilyn Monroe. In 1941, when a 24-year-old Kennedy was serving as a navy ensign, he started an affair with former Danish beauty queen and journalist Inga Arvad. The pair tried to keep their romance secret as Arvad was a married woman, but their tryst caught the attention of an unlikely source—the FBI.

During the 1936 Berlin Olympics, Arvad was Hitler’s guest as a prime example of Nordic beauty and the two were photographed together. Fast-forward to World War II, and the FBI was concerned that she might be a Nazi spy pumping Kennedy for information. The FBI bugged the rooms where the pair would rendezvous. Even though they never heard anything related to national security, the FBI recorded plenty of steamy “pillow talk” between the two lovers.

The Confessional Was Invented To Stop Priests From Having Sex With Parishioners

Parishioners

https://www.irishtimes.com

The concept of confessing your sins to receive absolution has always been an important part of the Catholic Church. The confessional booth, however, has only been around since the 16th century. Before that, parishioners simply sat beside the priest or knelt in front of him. In many cases, this led to sollicitatio ad turpia—the euphemism for parish priests seducing their followers (typically young women). Women were expected to remain virtuous at all times regardless of temptations, while most accused priests confessed and received the penance equivalent of “a slap on the wrist” from an understanding colleague.

French President Died While Having Sex With His Mistress

French President

http://listverse.com

In 1899, French President Felix Faure died in office at age 58. The official cause of death was apoplexy, but it was soon revealed that the president died while “entertaining” his 30-year-old mistress. Her name was Marguerite Steinheil. Steinheil wrote about the affair in her memoirs, she was vague about the night in question. A persistent rumor says that Faure died while receiving oral sex, but this was mostly due to a witty epitaph from his political opponent Georges Clemenceau.

Founding Father Encouraged Us To Fart Proudly

Fart Proudly

https://www.buzzfeed.com

Benjamin Franklin was a man known for pulling practical jokes when the mood took him. In 1781, while serving as ambassador to France, Franklin wrote a letter to the Royal Academy of Brussels to mock what he perceived as pretentiousness and focus on the impractical. He titled his letter, “To The Royal Academy of Farting,” although it was popularly remembered as “Fart Proudly.”Franklin ended his letter with a pun, saying that until this issue is resolved, other problems are not worth a “fart-hing.”

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